ich liebe your mom?

dear marc,

i don’t know if this letter will reach you, because i’m sitting in a starbucks leaching internet and for some reason EVERYTHING is in german? i don’t know. i’ll make this quick——-
britney didn’t happen. i’m so pissed/not really. here’s the story: i went out with some co-workers, got waste case and then realized it was 2 AM and JUST couldn’t get my ass to heaven to see the queen of skank and her jiggly boobies. AND THANK GOD, because bitch didn’t even show. i bet there were so many disappointed gays, with their mascara and coke noses running all over the place. not a dry eye or anus in the house. poor them.
marc, have you heard of this chick little boots? she’s getting pretty big over here and perhaps you should google/iTunes her because i KNOW the bitch. here we are together:
okay, i don’t look too cute, but ISN’T SHE ADORABLE? we hung out one night, a friend of a friend situation. i’m sure you know them well. anyway, she’s going to be huge so start listening NOW before she becomes cliche. aren’t you so proud of my networking? you’ll need someone with ties to the music industry when you’re choosing models for next season so people will think that YOU listen to good music and will want to buy your product. just saying…
oh here’s a better picture:
yeah, much better. that’s such a good angle for my body. PECS!
oh my god this starbucks man has such a sweaty back. ew.
anyway, love your tits.
call me.