do you think you could introduce me to Sienna Miller when you hire me? i think we would be the greatest of frenemies. when i was in london, i saw her at the premiere of Interview, and even though it was Steve Buscemi’s name that i screamed on the sidelines of the red carpet, i still thought she was adooooorable. she was all poor-postured and weak-ankled and just kept smiling at everything in her slinky silk frock. and i love how the paps are always kind of, sometimes all over her and she’s like, “you guys! come on.” this would totally be us:
SIENNA: MATTY, what did you think of the new twenty8twelve show?
MATT: i thought it was GREAT, SeeSee. i was so happy to see that you’ve continued to make that bleach-splattered denim vest that made the line great in the first place. i love the idea of paying $150 for something i can probably find at goodwill, without all the risk of it not fitting. or the excitement of finding something on my own.
SIENNA: you cheeky BITCH.
MATT: i’m KIDDING, baby. really, i think you’re wonderful. hey, say a line from GI JOE.
MATT: baby, PLEASE?
SIENNA: “get out. GET OUT. (beat) nice shoes.”
MATT: OMG THAT’S MY FAVORITE LINE.
SIENNA: I KNEW.
MATT: we’re so fun.
SIENNA: one of us is.
SIENNA: let’s have champers and blow for lunch!
so will you? of COURSE you will, you treasure. and you’ll get so much press when we’re arrested for being fun, and the only statement we’ll give to the press is, “MARC JACOBS.”
OH MY GOD MARC—
lohan and i are NOT aging well, because we are both getting HEINOUS, deep-set forehead wrinkles despite the fact that we are mere 23-year-olds. that being said, i am positively, 100% giving up smoking today with the hope that my body will be able to heal itself and maybe i won’t go down the same twisted, gnarly road that lindz is stumbling down, with her skirt above her head and one boob flopping out.