drunken plea/mardi gras/i’m SO SORRY

dear marc,

i’m so sorry that i’ve been the WORST pen pal (actually, YOU are the worst pen pal because you NEVER WRITE ME BACK. but who’s counting?), but i’ve been busy MOVING BACK INTO MY PARENTS’ HOUSE FOR TWO WEEKS BEFORE I MOVE TO SEATTLE, and going to mardi gras in st. louis, which, if you didn’t know, is the second largest mardi gras celebration IN THE WORLD.  don’t worry, i thought about you the entire time i was there.  everywhere i went i had people sign this petition:

i’m sorry, i lied; i totally MEANT to have people sign that petition but i was too busy drinking keg beer and screaming things like, ‘YOU’RE A FAGGOT,’ ‘that’s FAGGOTRONICS,’ and ‘WHO MADE YOU QUEEN OF THE PORT-O-POTTIES? NOT US, AND WE’RE FIFTY PERFECT OF THE VOTE.’ i’m such a stinker! oh, and i was wearing this little bit-o-memories the whole time:


anyway, i hope you’re doing well. i’m tits-deep in SHIT at my parents’ place because i don’t throw anything away? ever? HOARDER. report me, it’s fine.  i miss you!



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