bender slump

i swear, marc. i swear i’ll write you soon, but i’ve been sleeping on floors and couches for the past 3 nights. yes, i went on an amazing bender. i’ll tell you more soon.



deeeeeeeeR MArc,

today i went to church and modeled and GOT drunk and got on some screens a few times and now i’m drunk and god sais, ‘let there be booze’ and i was like, ‘HHHHHEL YEAH’ and then girl came up to me and was like, will you take my picture?? i siad no because i wnated my picture taken and i did and
jewish? islam? gay? i think we can all agree that church is okay.
i have things to show you laterzzzzzzzzz POOP POOP SHADOOP in my cake fart.

sleep here

dear marc,

my life is getting PRETTY blah. i’m getting stuck in a rut. this isn’t the life that an up-and-coming marc jacobs model should have. the only really great moment i had this past week was getting HIGH OFF MY ASS on sunday after work. i was just wanderin’ around london with ana, baked like gold fish cracker. it was wonderful. until i had to get home… the tube ride was HORRIFYING and i thought that everyone around me was making out and judging me for not making out with someone. when i finally managed to get off the tube, i ran into a nearby grocery store for water/i just couldn’t walk home. i was terrified. i was just wandering around saying, ‘you’re never going to get home. never. never ever. how are you going to get homeYOU’RE NOT. you need to find a place to sleep if you can’t get home. where can you sleep? here. you’ll sleep in budgens. okay, salad is soft, sleep on the lettuce in the produce aisle. it’s cold there, too. you like to be cold when you sleep. this is fine. okay. okay lettuce.’ THANKFULLY david just happened to be in the grocery store and saved my ass. i managed to walk the 5 minutes it takes to get home only thanks to him. disaster averted. marc, i’ll be honest, if you were ever high and stuck in a grocery store i would probably just leave you there and we would later laugh about how you got arrested. i’m just a good friend like that. PRESS!!

ich liebe your mom?

dear marc,

i don’t know if this letter will reach you, because i’m sitting in a starbucks leaching internet and for some reason EVERYTHING is in german? i don’t know. i’ll make this quick——-
britney didn’t happen. i’m so pissed/not really. here’s the story: i went out with some co-workers, got waste case and then realized it was 2 AM and JUST couldn’t get my ass to heaven to see the queen of skank and her jiggly boobies. AND THANK GOD, because bitch didn’t even show. i bet there were so many disappointed gays, with their mascara and coke noses running all over the place. not a dry eye or anus in the house. poor them.
marc, have you heard of this chick little boots? she’s getting pretty big over here and perhaps you should google/iTunes her because i KNOW the bitch. here we are together:
okay, i don’t look too cute, but ISN’T SHE ADORABLE? we hung out one night, a friend of a friend situation. i’m sure you know them well. anyway, she’s going to be huge so start listening NOW before she becomes cliche. aren’t you so proud of my networking? you’ll need someone with ties to the music industry when you’re choosing models for next season so people will think that YOU listen to good music and will want to buy your product. just saying…
oh here’s a better picture:
yeah, much better. that’s such a good angle for my body. PECS!
oh my god this starbucks man has such a sweaty back. ew.
anyway, love your tits.
call me.