today i was snatched up by another mark. yes, marc, i am employed. as a PA to mark williams-ellis at limehouse designs. mostly i go to flats he’s renting to people and clean them (burning calories!) and then make lots of copies at the office. but don’t worry, i only work 4 days a week so if you’re looking for a model on fridays… clear
ly i’m available. let’s look at some facts about my new boss at limehouse designs and see why i’m going to stick out this shitty, ‘can you make me some copies’ job:
*he’s so british that even when he’s calling me an idiot for not understanding how the gate works, i still smile.
*he has two cards sitting around the office. one from a ‘woman’ named edwina thanking him for a good saturday night, and another from leigh saying something about ‘i’ll still become naughty claire?’ the BEST part is that both cards have the same handwriting… which leads me to believe that these are his alter egos and/or he’s trying to boost his morale/impress me by trying to look popular.
*he has a file on my computer titled ‘tenant v-cards,’ which clearly means he only rents flats to sexually confused 20-somethings, seduces them with his leigh/edwina/naughty claire persona and proceeds to steal and document their innocence.
*he keeps a lot of pictures of himself around the office…like a stack of photos of him standing on a balcony?
*he kind of smells like a wet dog?
*i think he’s lusting after his cleaning lady. i looked over at him once he was just kind of staring at her with this dreamy, far off look in his eyes. i wonder if he ever comes up behind her while she’s wiping off a cabinet and smells her hair. i bet mark would do that.
OH. look at this hot photo of me with three trannies. i spent 40 pounds on that cardigan that i’m wearing and i think it just paid for itself:
omg i’m CREAMING. look at those shoulders. and that blank stare? models practice for years before they can get that on one try. you better call me soon marc, i hear vivienne westwood is trying to get to me…